Being a Victim of bullying is a very sad issue. Like suffering from an illness that people cannot sometimes see when they look at you, yet it slowly captures, cripples and destroys your system, bullying destroys the victim’s health, privacy, security, freedom and life. It can be a life threatening illness that completely breaks you down like a terminal illness without a cure if you are unable to get help to overcome it. There are so many types of bullying and so many variations and levels and unless you experience it, it is very hard to feel and understand its full impact. The reasons for bullying are many but none of the reasons are acceptable because bullying is illegal and unethical and anyone who resorts to it does so due to jealousy, hate, wanting to destroy a competitor, or due to their own low self esteem. The most damaging form of bullying is when you do not know the bully. When it is a known enemy it is like being on a tennis court with a broken racket where an opponent violently hits a ball towards you and you try to safeguard yourself with the broken racket. It is not easy but you see the opponent, you see the threat coming towards you and you can use the racket and run out of harms way or hit back as best you can. But if a ball suddenly hits you from thin air, you do not have that advantage. What is even worse is if several balls are dashed towards you from thin air from all directions. You have no idea who is hitting you with these, you have no idea from where these will hit and the broken racket and your running may not be enough to safeguard from these multiple attacks directed towards you. You also do not know who is directing these, so you are kind of walking in the dark. All you know is that you are being hit and you try to find ways to defend yourself. 

ESSENTIAL INGREDIENTS OF BULLYING CAMPAIGNS

Bullying thrives on 2 essential ingredients. Finding and convincing people to participate either because they are friends of the bully having likeminded feelings of hate or they convince people using unethical and illegal tactics of lies and manipulation to join their hate campaign. If people blindly get convinced without being intelligent enough to not get involved with such low activities that harm others, they become part of the hate network and the network grows with misguided people and haters. The second problem that crops up due to this is that they isolate the victim. The victim is targeted at school, at work, in the community and isolated by bullies using lies. Hate in any form is hate. You cannot really create anything from hate other than hate. So when hate is there then kindness reduces in schools, workplaces and communities. People’s fascination with gossip, or wanting to feel superior to others puts strength to the bullying network. So the bully creates juicy wrong gossip and makes friends with those in the victim’s circle and little by little destroys the victim’s friends and colleagues and the entire support system of the victim. If a victim tries to make friends, the bullies make it their business to get to know friends of the victim and destroy their relationship with the victim using whatever illegal and unethical tactics they can use including slander campaigns.

WHY BULLYING HAPPENS

So if you are wanting to study, wanting to get good grades, wants to be nice and helpful, and the bullies have no interest in these things the bullies will feel jealous or threatened and resort to bullying. If you are successful in the work place or the community but the bullies feel you are making them look bad, taking away their customers or getting more good reviews or prestige than them then they will start bullying to break you down so they can get what you have what they do not have.  

In the adult world the bullies get even more complex. They can use money, power, their employees, to create massive campaigns to target their competitors or those they feel are standing in their way to power or recognition. 

Bullies most of the time have low self esteem and feel threatened by the victim because the victim has something they want. They convince themselves that the victim has done something wrong that deserves to be punished and convinces others with a whole array of lies and if the bullies are financially powerful enough they may resort to paying groups of people to do the bullying for them. Most people take up the offer out of desperation if they are offered money, a place to stay, privileges, meals etc. But helping vicious bullies is a terrible decision whatever the bullies may offer a person to do the bullying on their behalf, anyone with a conscience should not get into such illegal and unethical practices that destroys the life of an innocent victim. 

WHAT CAN WE DO TO END BULLYING?

Bullying is not a joke, it is not a cause, it cannot be justified. It is illegal and unethical and destroys lives and communities. 

Stop joining bullies, get to know the victim and do your research and get to know the victim before you believe anyone who tries to convince you to bully someone else. You may think it is harmless if a bully asks you to keep honking your horn each time you see the victim but many people doing the same tactics can create a sense of fear and stress in an innocent victim. Several of such tactics performed by many bullies can create an extremely hostile environment for an innocent human being who has a right to a life free of hate, harassment and fear.

Community bullies ruin lives within the community, ruins businesses via sabotage, hate campaigns, creates health issues via noise campaigns, creates broken friendships via hate campaigns and lies etc. The communities where bullies dictate terms becomes communities that have no heart or mind, no individual thinking, no kindness, just an empty shell of a community where innocent victims are cast out to satisfy an underlying layer of hate made to thrive by force, money and false pretense and untruths.

As the world reaches 8 billion population and cities become more dense and law and order is stretched to the maximum, bullies start to flourish.  Technology has made the illegal and immoral easier to do. Communications are easier, cell phones can monitor your every move, worldwide cctv can show what you do and where you are going to anyone with a cellphone or computer wherever in the world they maybe, tracking a person is free and easy with so many apps that allow you to do so at the flick of a finger. Illegal surveillance is easier. Listening through walls, listening to conversations happening around you, even within neighboring houses, tiny cameras the size of a pinhead can be embedded in rooms, even toilets, or wherever. Cars, bikes, bags, lunch boxes everything can be tagged including dogs and humans. Face scans, eye scans, finger prints all are being used everywhere that gives the illusion of better protection but actually opens you out to be stalked minute by minute everywhere. Even if you don’t spill your whole life online and social media, we live in a technology driven world and while tech firms try to cater to the demands of wanting better socializing and networking requirements for individuals and businesses, the consequences of privacy and security take a step behind. Databases are frequently hacked, private information too loosely handled and stolen and the consequences are dangerous and life threatening to those who fall prey to identity theft, bullying and stalking. 

LISTEN TO THE VICTIM

So what can we do if we are constantly hounded by bullies to the point that our lives are impacted in extremely negative and threatening ways? 

If you are a victim of bullying whether bullied by one or many, whether you know the bully or bullies or you do not know you must always remember that the bullies spend so much time on you because you have what they want. The only way to win is never give up. Speak out and don’t get involved in anything that feels like bullying if anyone asks you to say or do something to someone.

Those who have not walked in the shoes of anyone going through bullying should keep quiet if you have nothing positive to say to the victim because otherwise you automatically become an accessory to bullying by unfairly disregarding the feelings of the victim. Whatever you may think, please stop opening your mouth to disregard the experience of another because it creates further hate which victims do not need.

People are different. Experiences are different. Listen but do not judge. There are so many people who are quick to say the victim is paranoid or crazy. These terms should not be used freely. They are part of the problem. These words devalue truthful experiences and should not be used haphazardly.

If you are a friend of a victim try to listen and understand the experiences the victim is telling you. Don’t dismiss or judge but observe and understand. If someone tries to gossip or put a person down, remember that people who gossip about others and put others down have low self esteem issues. There is no reason for strangers to talk bad about you to your friends. That is a red flag. People get drawn to gossip but remember that it fuels bullying when it is used to harm.

CUSTOMIZED BULLYING  

There is a dangerous bullying trend in the world today where the bullies try to escape accountability and creep through the law by creating custom programs of bullying catered specifically to their targeted victim. Because it is so specifically designed for the victim, these tactics are not easy for others to immediately spot but if you spend a lot of time with the victim you will begin to notice these for yourself.

The bullying happening in many places these days is individually catered to have maximum impact on their target while escaping accountability and it is hard to see but it is the worst type of harassment that a victim can go through. The only way that people can become aware of it is by knowing the tactics used to bully the target and never participate in these tactics because even if your part in it seems harmless, it is extremely harmful because many people are employed to perform these actions constantly to breakdown the target and harass.  This type of bullying ruins the community relationships and reduces the quality of life for all. 

Custom bullying is often done by bullies who have the money and power to run a large bullying campaign against someone they think is taking their success away such as a business competitor or someone they want to destroy so that what the victim has can be taken by the bully or someone they want to stalk without being identified or someone they want to harass due to some misguided notion. Customized bullying campaigns often employ people to do the bullying and the main bully does not want to be seen. A coward with low self esteem who cannot face the victim and sends strangers to do the bullying so that the main bully stays hidden and unidentified in order to escape the law. Those who do the bullying are often given financial benefits, places to stay, various perks and positions to entice them to be a part of the bullying network. They are brainwashed by lies about the victim and they often don’t bother to check on these false allegations and just do the bullying to get the benefits.

CUSTOMIZED BULLYING TACTICS

This is in no way a total list but some of the most prominent tactics of a customized bullying campaign.

*Noise follows the victim wherever the victim goes to live. within 3 months at most of the victim taking up residence in any place, noise campaigns start near where they live. If it is a hotel it will be a room next to or near by and if it is a house it will be close enough to make victim leave the house. Sometimes places nearby to the victim are rented by bullies.

*Vehicles or people on foot start leaving before victim leaves a place and start coming back after victim comes back to the place or sometimes constantly coming face to face with the victim on the road several times a week wherever the victim goes.

*Constantly photographed openly during initial stages and sometimes strangers who come very close to the victim and takes photographs so that the victim knows with certainty that they are the subject of the photograph.

*Locks are tampered with and broken.

*Blatantly showing constantly to victim that victim’s premises has been accessed - Items in victim’s room or premises suddenly shifted from how victim left them, clothes cut so that victim can’t wear them anymore, food item packaging cut. Victim may find things left like confetti or open door etc in victim’s premises when victim did not leave it that way. 

* Blatantly showing openly victim is being watched constantly- Strangers start repeating strange actions everywhere victim goes such as lifting a arm or laughing or coughing when victim walks past or strangers start repeating a word that has some meaning to victim or wearing something identical to something victim wore again and again etc. Again this is not a one time thing. It would happen over 25 plus times within a month sometimes to victims.

*Strangers know private conversations and use words and sections of these conversations on the street for the victim to constantly hear or see- such as printing it on shirts or caps worn by strangers, or strangers come near victim talking about these as victim passes by.

*Campaigns creating and spreading false, untrue information about the victim to others to show victim in a bad light and breakup victim’s friends and prevent victim from progressing in career or forming new friendships.

*Infiltrating into circles of people the victim knows or is close to in order to get to the victim which may include using false documents.

*Impersonation or false documents maybe used to gather information about the victim.

*Trying to look and act like the victim to create trouble for the victim and breakup relationships and friendships by false impersonation. For example dressing up like a victim and watching friends so friends think the victim did these actions and become angry with the victim. Impersonating the victims mannerisms and looks to create issues for the victim.

*Parroting victim’s behaviour near the victim. If victim has a habit of doing something specific the action is repeated several times by strangers. For example if a victim has a sinus issue and needs to clear throat regularly, strangers will start constantly mimicking it and it will go on for several days. If a victim buys a new bag, strangers will start going past victim everywhere victim goes wearing an exact replica. If a victim drives a specific vehicle, several vehicles the same type and colour will keep going past victim’s vehicle.

*Cars following victim horning a certain pattern each time the victim goes out. Most cars used are leased with no ability to track the abuser.

*Maintenance staff are given incentives and made to create issues for victim. Fake maintenance issues arising to gain access to premises or a room. 

*Victim is not allowed to be out of sight more than 1 week at most. something such as fake maintenance or noise will be created to send victim out of where victim is.

Victim is shown that victim is being watched 24/7 to create utmost stress in victim’s life. Strangers visibly following the victim 24/7 to collect information about the victim, who the victim meets or knows, what the victim eats, where the victim shops, what music and shows the victim listens to etc.

*People around the victim given phones to take photos and record conversations.

*Benefits given to participants of this hate such as promotions, housing, money, gifts or otherwise threats to make them participate. False information, falsified documents etc used to convince people to participate.

*In more severe cases of bullying victim’s drinks maybe drugged and tampered with.

To know how this type of bullying is custom designed to impact a specific victim, someone needs to spend time with the victim and observe the experiences. A person who has not undergone such bullying tactics may think a victim is over reacting if the victim says a man honking the horn as the victim walks along the road is part of the bullying network but when it is done over 25 times on a victim then the victim knows very well it is definitely a part of the bullying. 

Always be kind. Never judge. Never ever judge. Listen and try to observe and understand what the victim is going through because if you ever have to go through this enormous injustice to human life which is the harassment of bullying, you would appreciate a circle of kind friends that believe in you, understands you, respects you and never does anything to create hurt and pain to anyone. Promote kindness. Always. 

If you are a victim of any type of harassment, hate or bullying always know that you are being bullied because you are an awesome person that those with low self esteem, jealousy and misguided minds cannot stand to see.   Be strong and be yourself and always be kind. Speak out, stand up and tell your story. Together we are strong. A network of kindness can dissolve the hate.